The Measure of a Life

This phrase has haunted me of late.  It's part of the lyrics of a song I really like, but the harmonic that touched me was more about what's going on today around me.

I've been trying to determine how to get my head around the measure of one's life by somehow defining that yardstick and holding myself up to it.  This has come about due to personal circumstance changes, but I see others also struggling with this - often without recognizing the nature of their predicament.  I can share the struggle itself doesn't feel very good and drives self doubt and worry when our preconceived ideas no longer align to the current situation we may find ourselves in.  This can happen in a range of ways - employed to being unemployed or retired; married to unmarried and so on. 

How we value ourselves and deal with changes in our situations often tests our long term view (I am talking after-all of the measure of one's life moreso than the measure of a year or other period).  So in some ways my own "ah-ha moment" arrived when I recognized the unacknowledged variable here - time.  As in the shorter periods where we can't see above the waves currently around us.  But that doesn't mean we're drifting the wrong way, it simply means we can't see how we'll get there from the current vantage-point. 

Admittedly it's hard to do course corrections if you don't have a destination, a heading, or an idea where you are at any precise moment. But that's the very nature of the question here I think.   While the pathway was never going to straight, if we have an idea where we want to go, we'll be able to navigate to be able to get there. 

I don't think there is a universal truth here - what the measure of a life is (So long, and thanks for all the fish), rather, there is an answer we can each be at peace with and it is different for each of us. The trick is to be comfortable with your own answer, and then lean into it. 

Motivation - Keys to Crime Solving & Sales

When the police are trying to "solve" a crime, the tend to focus on a few key factors to optimize the pathway to success for speed - and one of these is motive.  In the best situations, I think it's very similar to when a sales person is trying to sell on a B2B basis.

As a disclaimer, I'll offer that I help experienced sales people sell more effectively - it's my day-to-day job.  So there's a chance I see similarities everywhere, where none really exists.  So - keep me honest in this argument I'm going to make.

(As another aside, I use the word argument to indicate that this is an un-tested opinion that I believe has merit. Like anything read on the inter-web, question me, disagree and form your own opinions - and always do that, as most stuff online is ill-conceived opinion whether on a blog like this, or on what is supposed to be a real news site)

Motive is the "why", and understanding the why helps narrow the field of potential suspects down significantly.  In criminal investigations, I've heard that something north of 90% of crimes are committed by someone the victim knows.  So, by playing the statistics and examining the why, the authorities are able to eliminate unlikely culprits much faster than by simply looking at "how".  

In professional selling there's a tremendous amount of focus on the "how", and I'll argue here that its the wrong question to ask.  There's a tendency to think about competing products, their features and pricing almost exclusively.   Sales people get caught up in it, instead of examining what is causing the customer to act - their motive.  When this latter area becomes the primary discussion point, then the whole dynamic of interaction changes and the game is played by rules the salesperson sets effectively.

Think of it this way - if I offer you two options - A and B, and ask you to decide between them, you will look at each, and debate their merits, price and so on.  Then you'll make a decision.  You may (but probably won't) vocalize your decision making criteria.  In this example, the fear of the seller of either option will be that their offerings can't stand up against its competition.  Now let's look at the same kind of situation differently.  Instead of passively playing along to the point of offering your option as a seller of either A or B, you engage the customer and work to understand the issue that they are trying to address.  What exactly is their desired outcome in sourcing an option. What purpose does it serve, what else is involved, and what is the end-use situation.  What's in it for them to do this...

In this revised motive-centric approach, the option we as sellers put in front of the client is more tailored to their need, and may end up being a different option than what the customer first sought. When it does come time to make a decision, the customer had engaged with you and explored their own situation and has an awareness that your option addresses the need they have.  You're more likely to win the sale with the awareness of motive.

Why don't more salespeople do this ?  That's unclear, but I suspect (another opinion here) it's because there is all sorts of silliness around selling skills  - it's an art, it's about who you know, etc - that covers up the need to follow a professional, systematic approach.  Going back to our crime scene..it's the equivalent to hiring a psychic to help the force.

Next up - the alibi.