Sunday, February 9, 2020

Frustration

This emotion has always been my achilles heel.   Our friends at Mirriam Webster define it this way - a deep chronic sense or state of insecurity and dissatisfaction arising from unresolved problems or unfulfilled needs.  I suppose that like a lot of people I'm a problem solver, or if this was a job interview and I was asked about a strength/weakness, I'd offer that I'm someone that prefers to be  prone to action.  I don't like just letting issues or problems sit, I'd like to solve them and move on.  The critical element there being the move on part. Bleeding? Get a bandaid and get on with it, business issue? resolve it or agree you can live with it and move forward.  You get the idea.

The challenge here as I'm sure is obvious to all, is that some issues aren't solvable, or at least not easily, or in a manner that many can agree on.  Politics, religion, families and job situations all come to mind.  So what happens when an unresolved issue just percolates and sits like a festering sore ?

A picture is worth a thousand words as they say. That's how it eventually feels for me.

Not everyone is like this of course, some of us can see the bright side, the glass is half full, and want us all to be true to ourselves and vulnerable about the changes and challenges we face.   When personally faced with a high degree of frustration, and I start hearing that, reading it or being exposed to it in some (asinine) online posting, I personally feel like I'd like to share the explosion a little more closely with them.  Which is why frustration is such a pain in the you-know-what, as most of us have enough of our own, that we don't want someone else's too.

I've thought a lot about the topic over the years, and have tended to reflect a little on the less shareable elements - the insecurity and unresolved issues parts.  Sure, a 'type A' personality that likes a controlled outcome has probably been motivated in some way towards that behaviour.  Type A's (or high "D" in a DISC sense- look it up) aren't born that way, they've grown to want these outcomes due to circumstances in their upbringing or experience.  Which is ironic in many senses as families and jobs/work can be a huge source of frustration.  Our psyche's are self fulfilling ?  Maybe.

I don't have an answer to frustration, (which is also funny), but do have an awareness towards the triggers for me or root causes of it as I've grown older, and find myself actively steering away from these. I don't think that reflects personal growth so much as awareness, with the latter being the first necessary step towards dealing with any problem. 

I offer this for a few reasons - I wanted to vent a little today; and I wanted to offer to the casual onlooker that if you feel I'm ignoring you, its actually probably how I'm dealing with you.  Not always, but sometimes.  I imagine that might be frustrating for you now that you realize it.