Travelling Incessantly

I recall years back reading a story about a man whose wife had passed away and he decided to treat himself and spend his retirement savings flying first class around the world. He enjoyed it - at first, hence the premise of the story as it unfolds.  I don't remember the exact details except that he seems to lose his passport at one point, and is trapped in airline transit purgatory.  I want to say it's a Graham Greene short story, but I could be mistaken.

I also travel extensively for work, albeit not in first class.  And I have also passed the threshold where I think this is fun.  It's alway interesting to me when discussing the topic with people that don't travel, or don't travel much and are enthralled with the idea that I might work in Europe one week, at home the next and in Asia the following week.  It's just a bus, though a comfortable one.  If we lost of our sense of global proportion and had friends, family or colleagues that had to commute to work and it took 8-18 hours to get to work on a bus, we'd pity them.  Yes, on the bus we're catered, and yes there are movies and quasi comfy chairs...but it's still public transport and as small as our world is - it takes time.  Saturday evening (or even Fridays at times) departures for work the next week are the norm.  Believe me when I say - it gets old, fast.

But I'm old enough to know that it isn't routine either.  I had a taste of routine recently, a sober reminder of daily commuting and the joys it represents.. "Did I sit next to this person yesterday? - were they they one making smells?  Was it me? Why can't I stay awake on this train? Why is it always busy on this road..  So, the short answer is that the grass isn't greener, it's just different.  And different grass is admittedly interesting at times.

So I'm writing this 7-8 miles above the planet's surface, speeding (relatively) towards Australia where I'll work for the next few weeks.  Wow, hugely exotic, incredible, always wanted to go there...but in reality its just another business park, just another office and just another cafeteria.  We won't see kangaroos, Crocodile Dundee or drink Fosters during the day..I probably won't even say 'crikey'.  But it is different and a fun place to visit.  And sometimes that's enough to keep work fresh.

That in a nutshell is what it is all about - keeping it fresh.  The avoidance of routine should be the goal.  To the professional golfer or pilot or even the Cirque du Soleil performance artist -  to them the repetition in the work must make it seem mundane too.  So let's pledge to all keep it fresh.  And I'll go look for a beer.

We are All Human

Thematically, the stories of a man's struggle (or a woman's) with their principles and beliefs are the most compelling to me.  When we allow ourselves to be seen, truly seen as authors are able to share, then our human-ness rises to the surface in profound ways.  The whisky priest in Greene's Power and The Glory,  Marlow's quest up the Congo in Conrad's Heart of Darkness and much of what Le Carre writes where emotion and honour are fraught and mixed in the Cold War in his many wonderful stories.  In all these examples and many more, the humanity of our fellow person touches us.  The themes play out successfully in modern story-telling too as they transcend time - look no farther than Yondo's sacrifice for the same theme.

A grand struggle makes for a fine narrative, all the more compelling when we see the person underneath, laid bare before us in their pain, and truths.  I'm drawn to that as it allows a connection between us that's all too rare in these modern days we live in.  So with this mind to have seen this firsthand and to have played a role in it recently was wrenching and personal.  When any of us are reduced to have to question exactly who we are and what we believe is riveting theatre, but less so when it's the person next to you in the 'stage' of their lives.

'We must do, what we must do' is both enfeebling and empowering, knowing our destiny is uncertain and our choices all matter. To witness the decision making, knowing how very hard they are to make is humbling.  We are all human, no matter if we forget that or not.

Empathy

I was wrong recently, and my mistake was that I let frustration and then anger with someone overshadow a simple truth that I hold pretty dear - that we should all have a large degree of empathy for one another.

It's interesting to me in a clinical sense, as I knew something was wrong with the way I was looking at this situation and it was gnawing at me a little more than it should have.  I took that discomfort for a 'lingering' of the feelings of frustration I was having, but I also knew deep down that it shouldn't have lasted that long - it wasn't that big a thing.

So I did what I often do when I need to think clearly about something, I went for a run and thought it through.  That's a great way to run by the way, as you aren't thinking of the pounding of your feet or the pain you're experiencing, instead you can focus on the thing that's bugging you and the lack of distraction (for me) brings clarity.

I looked down at my left wrist and noticed the hand woven cloth bracelet I've been wearing since May 2016.  I bought it at a little village high in the Himalayas in Nepal, and it was memento for me of the time I'd had there around perhaps the most well rounded people I'd ever come across - kind, funny, warm and gracious and living in some of the harshest conditions I've ever seen.  I admired them so much and how they seemed to revel in the joy of life.

And it made me think about how I was feeling, and realized I'd let myself down by not aspiring to a level of graciousness, understanding and empathy with the person.   So, while I still think that the way they acted was incorrect, I also see that I don't know why they did that, and my own pettiness wouldn't have helped them, rather it would have piled onto what seems like what was probably already a bad day for them.

Empathy is easily accessed and costs us nothing.  Yet it's still a rare thing at times.  

Between Heaven & Earth

At 15,800 ft above sea level in Nepal, there is a graveyard.  It’s a set of stone cairns with little signs on each, identifying the occupants and for efficiency purposes of stone carvings, a short word or two on why the are there.  Draped across them are Buddhist prayer flags, signalling the significance of each passing flicker that was briefly a life lived.  It’s a solemn place, a peaceful place and a windy place.  The wind and flags tell a story that the stone cannot – it speaks of the turmoil of their final days and the constant that holds them together – the drive to stand atop the highest peak helping themselves or others to realize meaning from the top of the world.

It is in many ways the perfect graveyard, for it celebrates those that tried and gave it their all – literally.  A gathering of Nobel prize winners that stumbled in their quest for greatness would be its equal, but this small place, isolated from all except those that tread in the same footsteps and dream the same dream is celebrated by the few.

The stones carry names of legends… Each merits their own story, and each story deserves to be told.  But on any cold and windy day the stone cairns stand resolute against the surrounding peaks, saying these souls, these people too were mountains in their own right, and they belong here amongst the cathedral of the gods.

There is a little tree

It's alone.  It's stands in clearing atop a high ridge, clinging to life.  It's free and clear, our little tree and enjoys the hours of sunshine and abundant rains.  There is no shade to block it.  There is no obstacle to block it.  But it stays little.  For to grow big risks everything.  

There is a little tree on a washout basin, a rockslide basin.   When the mountain rumbles it takes everything in it's wake.  And the little tree with its little soil and roots would not stand a chance the next time the mountain moves.   But it grows, it perseveres and hopes.

Before our little tree there were other little trees and they are gone now, relics to our memory of hope.  And tomorrow there will still be a little tree.  Just maybe not ours. 

But today, there is a little tree. 

What is Canada ?

I travel a little bit, and am frequently asked what Canada is.  On the occasion of Canada's 150th birthday, I thought I'd give answering this seemingly easy, but actually quite deep question a try.

Like some other countries with big neighbours (Ukraine, New Zealand), Canada is frequently defined in relation to the USA.  If I had a nickel for every time I'd heard 51st state jokes, well I'd have about $2.00.  But there's more to my country than the shadow our neighbour casts upon us.

Canada embraces a social sensibility that crosses what I like to think of as the best of Europe, with the pragmatism of the US.  We have a social safety net as Canadians repeatedly elect governments that put this in place.  It means that we are willing to extend our wallets to help those less fortunate around us.  That results in "free" medical care, deep programs and acknowledgement for lots of people in disadvantaged situations in an economic, health, personal and other senses.  It's important to note that this willingness to reach into our pockets (in a taxation sense) to help others, extends beyond our borders as well - Canada is the country that has contributed the most to UN 'Blue Helmet' missions in the last 50 years - and it extends when we see those in need wherever they are.  Canada has opened its borders and communities to tens of thousands of Syrian refugees in the last two years and local 'person to person' support was in place at a local level to shepherd these newcomers from life as they knew it, into jobs, schools and our society so they can become self-supporting.

Are we perfect ? Of course not, but arguments about which social investments to make, which bridges to build and mend are different I'd argue than arguments about how much to take take away from the disadvantaged and only give to those with advantages.

Canada is bilingual, and though we complain at times, we have a Swiss style approach with defined territories with distinct cultures and this is enshrined in who we are.  Think about that a moment, not many countries are able to do that - understand the variances that separate  us, embrace them and turn it into a strength. Vive la Canada!

Canada is economically conservative.  It manifests in our banks and spending.  Our economy will never be a world beater or leader - but it is solidly and consistently in the top ranks globally.  In these days of massive economic fluxes - Japan, America, and Russia I'm talking about you - this is a pretty good achievement.

I like to think that we are a mosaic, and not a melting pot.  It's hard to define being Canadian, so instead anyone that comes here - and many do -  simply contribute to make all of our society a little richer, a little deeper instead of having to conform to some 'norm'.  It benefits us all when people with new cultures chose to live here.

And any discussion of what it means to be Canadian can't avoid the massive scale of our land, stretching to three oceans.  The scope of Canada - it takes 7-8 hours to fly nonstop across and the varied geographies we have - it is in our soul.  Beaver, and elk adorn our money and are national symbols.  While most Canadians live within 500kms of our southern border, we all appreciate that the vast majority of our country is wild, beautiful and untapped.

Canada is all of these things, and for a 150-year old it's looking pretty good.

Are You Happy? - It's the Wrong Question

Are you happy?  You've had this question, so have I.  We ask it of each other innocuously, however it has some real implications. You may have struggled to answer it - I certainly have.  I’d put forth that while we’re each genuinely interested in the answer when we ask it, it’s actually the wrong question most of the time.

Let me illustrate this by offering a few variations:

Are you lonely?
Are you afraid?
Are you fulfilled?
Are you hungry?

These are also states we could find ourselves in, and they can change.  I may be hungry right now, but won’t be later after I’ve eaten.  Likewise when something wonderful happens that seems to validate some work or efforts we’re involved in as a professional, parent, or volunteer it does offer the lovely glowing feeling of fulfilment.  But chances are when stuck in traffic later that day or week, that same glow is diminished.  I can be afraid of something, but it probably wouldn’t define me.  I can be thrilled with something, but that excitement fades too.

For reasons I think I may understand however, we want to treat the sometimes fleeting emotion of happiness as a state of being, as if we walk around with a big grin constantly.  That’s because when we ask one another if we’re happy, it’s not intended to be about the precise moment it happens, but rather it’s a general query, that is intended to be more precisely interpreted as “Are you not unhappy?”.

The avoidance of unhappiness I’d argue though doesn’t result in happiness.  Just as some numbers such as 2,3,6, and 478 are all positive while -2,-4 and -17 are all negative numbers, 0 is neutral, and is neither positive or negative, it just is.  (Feeling neutral isn’t positive however and wouldn’t be considered a positive answer if asked about on a 'Are you happy' scale.)  Here, context matters I’d think.  If my dog just passed away, feeling neutral is a pretty good result.  On a daily basis if you’re doing something that you don’t enjoy, neutral is fine.  Happiness is too large a hurdle to aim for.

That’s the crux of the problem.  Asking about happiness, or setting the expectation for happiness when being neutral is a fine result at times, sets the bar too high.  Add to that that we ask about this incorrectly 99% of the time, and all of a sudden happiness, that elusive social goal seems unattainable.  And that makes many people unhappy.

So going forward, I’ll try not to ask that tired old question when the moment arises, setting up anyone that answers for an often-sad moment of self-reflection.  Instead I’ll ask if they have successfully avoided unhappiness lately.  For even if the answer they offer is ‘sometimes’, that in itself is worth celebrating and smiling about.